Many people try to set goals for themselves, but often see no real results. So, do goals really work, or is there a better alternative?
Goals – Do they really work?
There was one of my friend with whom I was talking this morning about her financial goals for the year. I interrupted her after listening for a few minutes to ask how she felt about those goals.
No answer came from the other side and there was a long pause. Finally, I asked if I could share my thoughts about goals -Why they are not for me, and why I think they’re terribly limiting and frustrating.
Her eyes were filled with tears by the end of the call, and I was about to cry. I showed my presence to her at the right place in the right time, and suggested her new way of approaching her business, her clients, and her whole life. – a way that felt scary, but spacious and even inspiring in ways that traditional goal setting just can’t achieve.
Let’s try something new, Are you ready for it? Here’s what I shared with her; I hope it will be inspiring to you as well.
Goals are like Boxes
When you were a kid, it was fun to play with different things, it was fun to play by sitting inside a big packing box but squashing your life into one is a very different feeling, and that’s what goal do as their job.
I’ve repeatedly observed, as an individual and with clients, that goal setting is not easy, it creates limitations – and panic! You immediately start thinking about your goal once it is set; you can’t stop thinking about it. Now you focus only in achieving those goals. My friend saw all her potential clients as walking dollar signs - not very comfortable for her or for them!
“what I can do to meet my goals? What if I fail or don’t succeed? Will everyone will see me as a looser?” One of my friend advised me that, there’s always the “Oh, I didn’t really mean that” thing that happens when a goal starts to feel unreachable.
On the other hand, when you finally reach your goal you feel happy, satisfied and then think, “Ahhh… I achieved it. Now I can relax.” And you put your feet up and take a deep breath. Whether you do this literally or figuratively, you’ve stopped. What amazing things would happen if you kept going? You’ll never know.
An Invitation to Be
So, I asked my friend, “Who would you be if you weren’t so focused on financial goals?”
There was another long silence, but this one was full of electricity – I could almost see the exclamation marks flying in her thoughts. Finally, she said, “I don’t know!”
“I’ve asked myself that question before,” she added, “but it’s always been what would I do. I never thought of asking who I would be.”
When you start with an intention to be something special, to do something different, to be more of who you really are, the goals you might have set for yourself are nothing compared to what you’ll actually receive, accomplish, and experience.
It is better when you set your intentions powerfully. Set an intention that brings you out of your comfort zone, stretches you, pushes you out of your habits, that makes you feel nervous and vulnerable. Set your intention with commitment and heart, even when it frightens you.
I know someone who is giving Immensely generous of spirit and in action, she felt threatened and vulnerable in receiving. When she set an intention to be someone who receives as well as gives, she knew it would be challenging. What she didn’t know was how amazingly rewarding it would be. She received gifts of friendship, service, joy, peace, and love that have changed her life as she never imagined before.
And all she did was set the intention – and then noticed whether she was being in alignment with that intention.
What will you be and what is your intention?
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Categories: : Goal Setting Series
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